Be very careful when people ask you for their opinion about their work or something related to their character or looks.
The Laws of Human Nature, Chapter "Soften People’s Resistance by Confirming Their Self-Opinion: The Law of Defensiveness
In The Laws of Human Nature, Chapter "Soften People’s Resistance by Confirming Their Self-Opinion: The Law of Defensiveness," Robert Greene focuses on the core idea that people do not want the truth. They are insecure and fragile about their self-image and need constant validation. When they ask for your opinion on their work, looks, or character, it’s not because they are genuinely curious about what you think. It’s because they are seeking confirmation of their existing self-opinion.
People construct an image of themselves that makes them feel superior, intelligent, attractive, or virtuous. This self-image is a defense mechanism protecting them from the harsh realities of life. Most individuals live in self-delusion, avoiding any confrontation with their flaws, weaknesses, or mediocrity. When someone asks for your feedback, what they truly desire is support for this constructed self-image, no matter how divorced from reality it might be. Truth is the enemy here—if you offer blunt, honest feedback, you risk triggering their defensiveness and losing your influence over them.
Thus, the smartest course of action is to provide realistic flattery. It must appear genuine and specific, not too exaggerated, but enough to confirm their self-image. This way, you manipulate their perception and keep them on your side, while covertly gaining power over them.
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